Insignificant Profile of the FOXY mama
Her name is Kajol.typo on da birth certificate so people ended up calling her Fadhillah.
18 yrs of age.
Innova Junior college.
occupation: Free HUG giving Cheerleader.
The Lady is..
hyper.
a bit of a loose cannon.(actuali a lot).
Perpetually smiling.
one hell of a joker.
simple behind all dat chaos.
You do the finding.
The Lady loves..
music.
dancing.
cheerleading.
old school songs.
making music.
performing.
HIGHPERRRNESS.
smiles.
stars.
Flowers!
chocolates.
breakwaters.
beach strolls.
parks.
CHILDREN.
a gentlemen(u hardly find any nowadays).
HUGS.
da smallest most simplest gestures.
the colour RED.
Romance.
MEN IN UNIFORM.SCDF,POLICE,SAF,SOCCERBOYS.(you know my favourite)its in the uniform.=)
The Lady dislikes..
insects.
cats.
darkness.
mean n nasty people.
baad baad people.grr.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
~come please im falling~hey all..dont u find it sad wen things dun werk out but da momst minimal thing u ask for is frenship n yet u dun get it?well...i guess some ppl just need time..while others just wait..while keeping their options open.~show me what its like to be the last one standing~perhaps going out for dinner n maybe a walk at pasiris park wif rahman(ite simei) athelete later.taking a short break before i go full steam for summer test..must pass!!!~teach me wrong from right and i'll show you what i can be~
wif all dat im going thru..i broke down at the beginning.but wen i sat down n tot abt it.hey.i got kristel.i got vicky,syahir n haashir.i got my classmates.i got azi,nisa and aini.i got the cheerleaders.i got the jogging at ite simei.what more can i ask for?i am a happy girl.=)Where did i go wrong i lost a friend.
Somewhere along in this bitterness.
And i would have stayed with you all night.
Had i known how to save a life
~there is no guy devoid of Tebiat~
foxy mama,out.*giggles n bounces off*=)
ToRemainorLeave? 2:54 PM
Thursday, May 24, 2007
~welcome my love,dont you leave my side~no word could explain what i am feeling right now.the sound of your voice makes me want to cry.yes you.~you have inspired someone~~i got the meaning what the meaning of what fills the heart~~you're the one that i have been searching for all this while~~one who is just a dream~foxy mama,out.cant manage a giggle.let alone bouncing off.sorry.
ToRemainorLeave? 12:09 AM
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
~izinkanku mencuri bayangan wajahmu~
haha.melayu.
i miss him.
alot.
but he's missing now.
for more den a week.n its taking its toll.
i din expect myself to be so sad.i dun expect to cry.oh but i did.
~im standing on a bridge,waiting in the dark~
would he ever call again?
its hard for me to open my heart up again.n wen i do,the very thing i fear happens.
im open to all valued advice.i need it right now.
~here i go,scream my lungs out trying to get to you~
i wun show dis despondency wen im in skul.my frens deserve beta from me.
~there's nothing but the rain~
sumtin to smile about,my lovely adam dearest is back.i miss him so.
tot i would never see him again.i was patient n he came back.
perhaps i shud do the same wif fad?
im lost.
help me.
~we are strangers starting out on a journey~
cheer camp was great.
colgate is da shit man.
and i got to noe my juniors dat much beta.
especially those i once resent.
cheerleading will take my mind off u.but unfortunately cheer resumes on da 29th of june.
shit.
nevermind,mugg i shall.
~I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life~
thank you shahdan.
take care ppl.keep smiling.=)
~The scent of vasoline in the summertime~
~The feel of an icecube melting overtime~
~The world seems bigger than both of us~
~Yet it seems so small when I begin to cry~
~It's alright I'm OK~
~I think God can explain~
~I believe I'm the same I get carried away~
~It's alright I'm OK~
~I think God can explain~
~I'm relieved I'm relaxed I'll get over it yet.~
foxy mama,out.
*giggles n bounces off*
ToRemainorLeave? 10:20 AM
Saturday, May 05, 2007
~you think you know me but you have no idea~its amazing what joy and serenity the most oddest place can give you.jogging in ite simei dose me wonders.and mind you.i dont give two hoots about whoever out there hu wana make an unvalued judgement.cause i know my intentions for being there and so dose the guys.so if you wana go on saying its cause of other agenda's thats why i go there.GO RIGHT AHEAD.i dun care.i enjoy being there and its all that matters.i used to think that these mats were just lyk every oder no life boob watching pervert.but dey proved me wrong uh.can actually have a decent conversation wif dem.and actually feel much better after that.about wat i said once before abt these guys.i shud shove my foot down my throat.its disgusting and revolting how guys make you wait.i refuse to swallow and just smile anymore.yes,im referring to u.im missing my kristel man..urgh...i need a dosage of kristel..yes,dats wat i need.da slenge sisterhood has been emo-ing da pass few days.but i love dem more now more than i did before.yet anoder source of joy.=)I know you're in thereYou can make me waitBut I'm not going to waitIt's the least that I can doJust to tell you face to faceI was lying to myselfNow I'm dying in this hellGirl, I know you're madI can't blame you for being madBut baby, here I amlets see how it goes.foxy mama,out.*giggles n bounces off*Labels: fuckernabe.
ToRemainorLeave? 12:11 PM
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
~i sit here all alone,looking at you over there~it's labour day.and i feel like crying.~you opened the doors to my heart~never have i ever felt so neglected.never have i felt so ignored.you dont even tell me what kips u away all the time.u dun tell me anything.YET,u want me to understand n just be patient.~do you know the meaning of what fills my heart?~funny how u say u feel lyk as though ur da one who's doing all the chasing where i on the other hand couldnt care less..at this point of time,that is a J.O.K.E.~im so far away from you love~i hear those words u say alrite.i hear it loud and clear. but the thing is.i dun see it happening.i dun feel it.and funi how thats wat matters most.da seeing n feeling,not da listening.~let me pull myself back~dun blame me if i think that there is someone else.im not mad at u.its no biggy.really.~yang selama ini ku cari~(something someone sang)im made to feel as though u dun even make enuf effort to make time for me.how important i am to u?da size of my toe.dats how important i am.~you changed everything~im apparently demanding.so now i ask for nothing.u kip up lyk this,dun even expect anitin more from me.~your presence lights everything in my heart~i deserve everything i give u just as much as u do.so please,be back to how things were.dose times before.when i actually mattered.~you are everything that lights up my life~ur being missed.the question is,does it matter?sori for da emoness all.things haven been so great.medical wise.n wat not.needed someone there,but unfortunately that someone cud be there for everyone else but me.oh well,live with it gurl.i got to fly again yesterday.abit rusty.but hell.im gona gain back my confidence.thank u to my darlings lyk nisa,azi and aini for taking me away to happy land.i love u so much.oh!n i got to see my favourite firefighter jafni.hahahah!stupid pantat turning into a mat.NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!hahaha.derek looks cute.haha.justin oso boleh tahan.hahaha.my men in uniform.HAHA.den bumped into haoren.hu looks extra hot now dat hes in ns.haha.so aniway,dis is it for today.i love kristel.i need her so.i miss iman,oh yes i do.btw.he looked damn hot sia yesterday wen he came back frm da hockey match.hahaha.HOOOOTTTTTT..lyk da *melts* type.distracted me from stunts for a moment.hahahah.kay dah dah.i need a dosage of baizura,slenge the dog and amrit,kecoh the setan.make me smile gurls.ur voice rings in my head.i like this song.=)Share my life, take me for what I amCause I'll never change all my colours for youTake my love, I'll never ask for too muchJust all that you are and everything that you doI don't really need to look very much furtherI don't want to have to go where you don't followI won't hold it back again, this passion insideCan't run from myselfThere's nowhere to hideWell,don't make me close one more doorI don't wanna hurt anymoreStay in my arms if you dareOr must I imagine you therefoxy mama,out.*giggles bounces off*
ToRemainorLeave? 3:04 PM
Sunday, April 29, 2007
deep from within me, love was twisted and pointed at
You.yes you.
ToRemainorLeave? 1:24 PM
~its a damn cold nite~Ever had that sick ass feeling that gets stuck in your throat and its so hard to swallow? Well,dats how i feel rite now. The paradox of being so angry and wanting to smash something yet you also just wanna sit down and just cry.Lets blame it on circumstances.~wont you take me by the hand take me somewhere new?~Why does circumstances have to be this way week after week? Why does circumstance have to come between us like this? Why do u make me feel as though i am of little importance? You say so much but yet you don't show it. And when i voice it out,you get upset and you tell me im hurting you.it kills me to know that i hurt you. Cant you see?Let's blame it on circumstances.~i don't know who you are,but im with you~
I told you of my medical conditions. I told you not to be agressive in what you need to say or snap at me cuz i dun take it too well for i am actually Very soft hearted. But yet u still do. Maybe it's my fault. Well if it is,then i hope you accept my humble apologies.Lets blame it on Cirsumstances.~isnt anyone trying to find me~But right now, i i dun feel what you say you feel for me through your actions. Mere words are being spoken. Im starting to get scared of telling you how i really feel abt certain tings cause i dont want to hurt you. Perhaps if you opened your eyes bigger,you might just realise that: hei,perhaps i am not showing her wat she rili means to me. Thats why she's like this.Lets blame it on Circumstances.~wont somebody come take me home~I just wanna throw a bitchfit cause every weekend its the same ting. And dont you dare make me feel bad for feeling lyk as though i take meeting up as of more importance den u actuali do. Theres always sum circumstance dat forces me to kip it all in.but do u noe how hard it is for me to just be forced to throw away dat anger n frustration of u falling asleep on me or not answring my kols(makin me luk lyk a desperate ass for kolin so much)or just takin 2 mins to reply ONE sms cause u nid me to support u n console u.wat about me?Lets blame it on Circumstances.~i dont think you would be able to see what i feel inside~cmon,i emptied my whole weekend for.i noe u din promise me anitin..but hell..u cud at least make sumtime for me.its to da point dat i feel a ball,two goal posts n a field is of more importance den being wif me.u cud skip religious lessons for dat.y not for me?Lets blame it on Circumstances.~trying to be so perfect~u noe wat,screw this.kol me wen u want to.text me wen u want to.ask me out wen u want to.n dun u dare tel me dat u feel lyk as tho ur da oni one doing da chasing here.cuz wen i do make my move,u cant go on wif it cuz ur busy wif sumtin else,thus making me retreat into my shell.sink it in.~there were nights when the sun was so cruel~now u take da lead.n i will be the one seeing if i can make it or if i cant.u can make urself busy.so can i.n trust me.wen i immerse myself in work,even replying an sms wud b of little importance to me.i dowana do dat.lets not go there.~im waiting in the dark,i though that u'd be here by now~u can get mad at me if ever u cum across dis post.but i nid to let dis out sumwhere.so there.thank u blogger.patience u say?try being in my shoes for da past three weeks.den u cum n tok to me abt patience.~trying to figure out this life~perhaps tings wud be smooth sailing after u pass out from the academy.i pray it wud.u tel me i do haf to prove myself worth too,but how do i wen everytime i try,u make me retreat?u got alot to show me.da feelings u claim u haf.keeping to ur werds.being patient n not snapping at me.n being able to show me dat i do mean sumtin thru ur actions.cuz at dis point of time,ur werds dun hold anitin.dey used to.until u kept not keeping to dose very werds u said.~when you hold me like this and i kiss you like that~u haf no idea wat my feelings are towards u.i wanted to tell u.but i guess because of circumstances.now u'll possibly never noe.i just realised dat he mite just be infuriated n die frm anger if he reads dis..but dis is wat he has conformed me to feel.im sorry.~too long,too late~i need Kristel.i need Azi.i need Nisa.i need to jog.i need Iman.i need Bai.i need Amrit.i need Idham.i need 0743A.help me pls.~im looking for a place~~ searching for a face ~~is anybody here i know~~cause nothings going right~~and everythings a mess~~and no one likes to be alone~foxy mama,out.(sori ppl,cant bring myself to giggle n bounce off today.im at da verge of crying.)
ToRemainorLeave? 12:14 PM
Sunday, April 22, 2007
~No man,no cry~
im baaack...lotsa ppl telling me my blog quite dead..never post frequent entries..i busy mah..n lyk sumtimes haf to admit..a bit lazy..hahaha..aiyah..u all miss me just say la..no nid to hide hide n say "ur blog y never update"..hahahahhaha.cute la u all..hahahah..
~here you are by my side~
though it was a tinsy bit weird toking to him again,im whole hell glad.its gona take time.but its gona be worth it...cmon,gif us a break,its been more den 10 months since we last spoke..now dats the shit..haha..lunch sumtime perhaps?dat feeling of him tokin to me again..no wait,dat feeling wen i get wen he smiles at me,UNDESCRIBABLE.. =)
~when im lost in the rain,in your eyes i know i'll find the light to light my way~
kristel came over to chill the oder day...a dosage of kristel does wonders to my system...i miss her so..having her der wif me all the time..sigh...if only.
~too long,too late,who was I to make you wait?~
tings din go so well on saturday(yesterday).
suppose to be picked up at 9.
9am: i call n call n call n call n call.no ans.
930: thinks to self "I WAKE UP BEFORE DA FREAKIN SUN RISES N HE IS DEAD TO DA WERLD"
940am: one answers.(FINALLY!)find out one slept at 4am due to family problems.
945am: thinks to self, "damn i hate it wen we r so ready on being angry n throwing a bitch fit n den dey come along wif a good reason n then u haf to be oh so understanding cuz its written in the book"
946am: swallows plate of anger n says "its okay,just go get ready"
950am: one goes to quickly shower to fetch me.
1015am : gets a msg "im sori,my mum just collapsed in da toilet. i cant just leave her like this.but i will meet u today,i promise"
1016am: thinks to self "bessssssst."
~last chance for one last dance~
enuf of da schedule ting...budden at nite one took me out on a car ride..n sumhow made up for PART of the whole day...ders a make up next saturday.hopefully everyone breaths well.(i hope she's fine)never thought that i would wait..oh but i did..
~waiting for someone~
next week,going back to band to help out.hope dey do well for SYF.
oh good god..homework..homework n more homewerk...i wana kill da ppl hu invented ECONOMICS..wana noe how economics shud be spelt?its true spelling..heres how u spell economics E-V-I-L.all dose in favour say i.n u can sign up for membership in dis organization i started.we take part in meetings to plan out a SUPER GOOD plan to kill da ppl hu came up wif economics..n dose ppl hu actuali HELP economists.ppl lyk JOHN SLOMAN.
~when i find my way back,to your arms again~
well,here i am waiting once againwats new?take care ppl..
here's sum jokes to lighten up da craps in my post.
pick up lines n how a gurl shud ans dem:
guy:how do u wan ur eggs in da morning?
gurl: unfertilized.
yo momma's so fat,she fell in love and broke it.
keep smiling all.(no dats not a joke.)
~so here we stand in out secret place~
~with the sound of the crowd,so far away~
~you take my hand and it feels like home~
~while dancing we'll feel like theres no tomorrow~
~so how do i say,do i say "Goodbye"~
~we both have our dreams,we both wanna fly~
~so lets take tonight,to carry us through~
~the lonely times~
foxy mama,out.
*giggles n bounces off*
ToRemainorLeave? 9:17 PM